Aren't You All Overusing It Now?
by HobbesLuigi82
Summary: What I think of the fact that there are now five Mystery Science Theater 3000 takeoffs in the Calvin and Hobbes section, a good few more than there should be.


Aren't You All Overusing It Now? 

A man is sitting at home.

He is on a couch, just relaxing, flipping channels. No different to you nor me.

He is watching the Calvin and Hobbes station network, with multiple channels.

I wonder what's on?

The TV blared, "And now for, Mystery Science Theater 3001!"

KKKGH. The man flipped channels.

The TV shouted, "Stay tuned – Mystery Science Theater 7001, after the break!"

KKKGH.

The TV screamed, "Mystery Science Theater 3002, coming up next on-"

KKKGH.

The TV bellowed, "Mystery Science Theater 6000, after this-"

KKKGH.

The TV yelled, "Next – Mystery Science Theater 4000!"

KKKGH.

The TV hollered, "You're getting sick of all these; aren't you?"

"Yes," The man said calmly. "I thought this was a Calvin and Hobbes network, not Bring Back Mystery Science Theater 3000, We're Desperate Channel."

The TV said, "Well, just watch this one. It isn't an ordinary MST."

"No?" The man asked, sceptically.

"No," The TV replied. "It's why you should all stop making them."

The man watched the TV. "Oh, alright. But it better be good."

The TV sang,

"_In the not too distant future,_

_Somewhere in time someplace,_

_There was a kid named Calvin,_

_Sick of all the MSTs wasting space._

_He got so sick, of being kidnapped,_

_By authors thinking, "I'll try(coughstealcough) that!"_

_So he made this here TV show,_

_And he launched it on the network, shouting, "Here we go!"_

_Numerous authors: "We'll send him cheesy movies! (Ooh ooh ooh!)_

_All the ones that have been MSTied before! (La la la!)_

_Calvin'll have to sit and watch them all, (Ooh, ooh ooh!)_

_And we don't care if you think it's a bore!" (La la la!)_

_Now keep in mind Calvin's gonna tell you, (Ooh ooh ooh!)_

_Why all this is so boring, (La la la!)_

_He will support his point of view,_

_Of why we're all snoring!_

_Calvin's Roll Call!_

_Hobbes (I'm tired already!)_

_The TV Guy! (I'm just watching…)_

_Averag! (I'm the bad guy!)_

_Calviiiiiiiiiiin! (Let's do this!)_

_If you're wondering why he's doing this, and other science facts, (La la la!)_

_Calvin: "Then quite frankly, you're an idiot, you bunch of stupid hacks!"_

_On Mystery Science Theater…5, 824, 294!_

_(Guitar riff)_

It was an ordinary day for Calvin. He was taking a walk in the woods with his friend Hobbes.

"So," Hobbes asked him. "What shall we do?"

"Up for some Calvinball?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, OK!" Hobbes said. "I'll go get some firewood and frogs!"

"Great!" said Calvin. "I'll go get the ball, the time fracture wickets, Dad's scarf, and the car keys!" He turned and ran for the house.

It was a nice autumn day. It had lovely leaves falling off the trees, and making a crickly, crunchy snap as Calvin ran over them.

When Calvin reached his house, he opened the door. But there was something stopping him from walking inside. He could hear it – a low humming, and a large ominous shadow app—

"OK, who's there?" Calvin asked, turning around. He saw a UFO appear above him. Blah, blah, blah. A hatch opened on it, and a man in a white lab coat came out of it.

"HA HA HAAA!" The man laughed evilly.

"OK, bub, hold it there," Calvin said, walking over to the man. "You're a mad scientist, aren't you?"

"How did you guess?" The man asked.

Calvin ignored him. "You want to take over the world, don't you?" Calvin yawned.

"Uh, yeah," The man replied, confused.

"And can I guess your plan?" Calvin asked.

"You'll never guess it in a million, billion years! HA HA HAAA!" Came the man's reply.

"You want to shut me in a capsule, shoot me into space, and 'watch' fics in a theater, right?" Calvin asked.

The man's eye twitched. "I didn't bet on you being psychic," He muttered.

"I'm not psychic! Although that would be awesome!" Calvin shouted. "It's the only thing everyone is doing now! This isn't the darn Mystery Science Theater 3000 section! It's the CALVIN AND HOBBES section!" Calvin spat.

"Well, anyway, you're coming with me," The man said. He hit Calvin on the head with a mallet, threw him in into a capsule separate to the UFO, and shot it into space. "This'll be awesome!" He said. "Calvin reviewing fics! This will be sooooo original!"

Calvin woke up in the capsule. He looked around. It seemed alright. Just a wide open space with a table in the middle. He saw Hobbes right next to him.

"How did you get here?" Calvin asked.

"Oh, some reason that every author who does these things uses. I dunno. Plot convenience." Hobbes explained.

"Yeah, well, I'm sick of this!" Calvin said. He stood up. "I'm not going to _do this_!"

The scientist appeared on a screen next to Calvin. "Hey, Doctor Dolittle," Calvin said. "What's your name?"

"Me?" The man asked. "I'm Averag E. Author. Anyway, on with the plot. I'm going to send you your movie…" Calvin cut him off.

"No," Calvin said, holding up a movie reel that he took out of his pocket.

"Have you been carrying that all the time?" Hobbes asked.

"Ever since everyone thought, 'Hey! Let's steal this idea!', yes," Calvin said. "Averag, your movie is called, 'Mystery Science Theater 5, 824, 294'. It's something I made up, because it tells you why don't you all just take your MSTs and ram them in some other category. We had ONE. ONE was enough. We now have FIVE. STOP IT!"

ZZZZT! ZZZZT! ZZZZT! ZZZZT! ZZZZT!

"Ahhh, I got MOVIE SIIIIIIIIGN!" Averag shouted, and he ran into a theater. Where was the theater? Why the heck do you care?

(6…)

(5…)

(4…)

(3…)

(2…)

(1…)

Averag took his seat, and watched the show.

**Mystery Science Theater 5, 824, 294**

"Hey, that was _my_ idea!" Averag shouted.

"_Shut up, thief,_" said Calvin's voice over an intercom in the room.

**Calvin appeared on screen on a stage. He said, "Hello, one and all MST fans!"**

"Because it's time to die," Averag said.

"**Of course," Calvin continued,**

"The buffet line is open." Averag said.

"**I'm sure you all like Calvin and Hobbes, too!"**

"No, I prefer red wine," Averag said.

"**I'm here to tell all of you, stop making MST fics in the Calvin and Hobbes category. Please."**

"I'm begging you!" Averag said.

"**Please. They are good – I like a good MST as much as the next guy! But please, FIVE IN THE SAME CATEGORY? C'mon. It's just stupid."**

"I though it was gooood!" Whined Averag.

"**There are loads of categories out there that need MSTs. But this is starting to become the 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' category, not the 'Calvin and Hobbes' one we all know and love."**

"We do?" Averag asked.

"**Oh, and here's the bit that makes me laugh!"**

"A Rabbi and a priest…oh." Averag said.

"**You all say 'I DIDN''T STEAL OFF GARFIELDODIE!!111one one!' Yeah? Then I wonder where you got it from, then! 'Cos if you're 'not stealing', you're just overusing and overusing and boring the heck out of the idea! So, think of that."**

"I will," Averag said.

"**I'll leave you now, with this thought – **

"Beer or soup?" asked Averag.

"**Before you make another Calvin and Hobbes MST, just think – "I wonder if people are getting a little tired of this. I sure am." Calvin walked offstage.**

**THE END.**

Averag got up and left the theater.

(1…)

(2…)

(3…)

(4…)

(5…)

(6…)

"Hello?" Averag called. "Calvin?"

Silence.

"It's not funny anymore! C'mon out."

_**DOWN ON PLANET EARTH…**_

"Boy, am I glad I kept my Transmogrifier Gun with me," Calvin said, darting out of the Opposite Zone with the Calvinball.

"I'll say," Hobbes called, chasing Calvin. "Never seen anyone turn themselves into the Hulk and smash out of a satellite."

"And so," The TV said. "That is how Calvin and Hobbes tried to stop any more MSTs being made."

"Wow," the guy said. "Short and to the point."

"Uh-huh," The TV said. "Anyway, onto our feature presentation tonight, _The Pez Dispenser and The Reign of Terror_…"

_**THE END**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: HobbesLuigi82**

And that, my friends, is what I honestly think of the fact there are so many Mystery Science Theater take-offs in the Calvin and Hobbes section. I like them, sure, but there's _just too many_. You're wearing all the fun out of it! Put them in some other category. And I know I'm gonna get some flames over this, but heck, I've said what has had to be said. And what can be done about that?

Done.


End file.
